It’s been awhile – ten months! – since my last post. Babies have been conceived and born. Crazy things have happened (are happening) in the world. Cats continue to rule the internet.
As for me, I’m keepin’ on keepin’ on. Trying (often failing) to be okay with this version of thirty-something I’m living. Looks a hell of a lot different than the one I had imagined (or had maybe just assumed would happen).
My draft posts are sitting around, collecting dust. Sometimes I can’t find the right words; other times I’m not even sure what it is I’m trying to say. Wondering what on earth I could possibly contribute to the vast sea of content and conversation that hasn’t already been said (and in a far more insightful and engaging manner than I am capable of).
This blog, having always been mostly about music, has also served as a journal or memory box of sorts (albeit a severely neglected one). I’m not entirely sure why that is. Perhaps because it is such a personal experience and has always been such an important part of my life that I can’t write about music without also writing about how it makes me feel, or where I was and who I was with when I heard a particular song or went to a concert, or how certain albums will forever be tied to a particular time in my life and never fail to evoke such vivid memories and strong emotions that it blows my mind.
Perhaps I’m self-centered and just really enjoy talking about my own experiences. (Ugh, ya think?)
Or maybe I’m deeply lonely.
The kind of lonely that quiets with good company (and I am fortunate to have good company on a regular basis) but holds its breath just below the surface and splashes up the minute you arrive home where nobody is waiting for you. The kind of lonely that sits beside you on the couch and watches you with pity while you watch Netflix. The kind of lonely that taps you on the shoulder when you see a couple holding hands or a family playing in the park and whispers in your ear, They know something you don’t know. But don’t worry. You’ve got me.
Solitude is one thing. As a highly introverted person, I relish solitude. It recharges my batteries. Loneliness, however, is quite a different thing.
So maybe I’m just deeply lonely and that is why this mostly music blog of mine has always been peppered with personal stuff. It’s one way to put something of myself out there in the hope that someone, somewhere might connect with it and get something out of it.
And so I’m sharing with you my take on a Beatles classic, “Eleanor Rigby”. This one is for all the lonely people.